I’ve been reflecting lots on the job lately. In fact, on my desktop, I have a folder labeled “Lani’s Reflections”. This is primarily because I’m a reflective person and sometimes on the job, I have to stop and reflect in order to be productive. I may stop for 10minutes to reflect on something and then carry on working for another few hours straight. Otherwise I might spend the few hours I could be working, sitting around thinking. So long as I get it out of my head, I can carry on forward.
Anyway, when I say I’ve been reflecting on the job, I actually mean more than simply reflecting while working. My job has been the subject of much of my reflection. Two weeks ago, a colleague of mine talked about our work and the heart we’ve been working out of. Afterwards, I reflected that some time last year, my job became just a job and my reasons for doing it became loyalty to a piece of paper that I had signed when I took it on. But my colleague posed this question:
– what was the heart behind that job to begin with?
I took it further than that. I trudged my way through to the beginnings where a couple moved into a parched chunk of land and realised that here was a prime opportunity to do God’s work. They drove to a church 15mins down the road every Sunday and after some time realised that someone needed to invest in their local community. So they pushed the church they were part of. They appealed time and time again out of a heart to transform an unknowingly thirsty community. After much pushing, the church moved, applying to local government for funding to reach that community. And so the job was created, as a partnership between the church and local council.
Then my character entered the story.
I was looking for a summer job while waiting for University to re-start. Just a summer job. But I couldn’t find one. So when a 10hr position came up to work over the year with young people in a local intermediate school, I applied. I should say, I did it rather hesitantly. I didn’t want to work for a church. I guess in my mind, I wasn’t ready. I often feel like I’m still raw, like I haven’t been in the game long enough to progress to the next level. But circumstances tell otherwise. I wanted that 10hrs a week job, but I got offered a full-time one instead. You know what’s crazy. When they offered it to me officially, I said yes within seconds. It was like I barely thought about it.
In a sense though, I thought about it a lot.
When I walked away after my initial interview. I prayed two things:
1. That I would get the job.
2. That I wouldn’t get the job.
I’m not really sure what God’s hand is in all this job stuff. I mean, I was talking to a friend today and we were agreeing together that we’re not even sure we believe that God gives us or doesn’t give us jobs or husbands or mercedes benz’s or palmolive shampoo. I’m pretty sure that in the great scheme of things, he wired me a certain way and whether I accept it or not, he’s wired me to work with young people. And sure, the group of young people I’m working with, aren’t the ones I would have chosen in the first instance, but I actually wouldn’t trade them for the world. I just can’t imagine them building a relationship with another youth worker. That’s just weird.
Plus, I’m sure God’s wired me to think of my kids as my kids regardless of the community they’re from. This has always been my heart on the matter. They may not be from the community that I would choose for myself but they’re still my kids. Just like my neighbours might not be blood related, but they’re still my whanau.
And that’s really all I have to say for now. I’ve also been reflecting on the idea of “work-time” vs “spare-time” in the general sphere of time and God’s time. What is, what isn’t… etc. But I’ll save this for another post.
Peace out homies,