I really should be studying but I’ve been thinking about spirituality a lot lately and what better way to get it off my chest than to chuck it here in the blogosphere. If you haven’t caught up (assuming you still read this), I left my youth working job and a year after I left my youth working job, I left my church. That wasn’t because I had issues with faith but rather I had issues with form and reason. Why do we go to church on Sundays? Why should I listen to his/her sermon? Why are all these people here? Why are we singing this song? Why do we believe that? And so on it goes…
I began to develop what I call “Sermon Attention Deficit Disorder” (isn’t that sadd?? lol). I couldn’t sit in church and listen to an entire sermon. I couldn’t be part of a music team that was singing a song I didn’t necessarily agree with. I wasn’t even sure I held the same values about worship. So, my husband and I took an indefinite break from the church scene. We have moments where we look back on all the the fun other people seem to be having and I get jealous but I’m rediscovering where I sit with all of this. I didn’t want to be going along with something just because. I wanted to do it because it was my choice and desire to do it. It’s like this whole journey of weightloss at the moment. I’m not doing it because my parents called me fat half my life, I’m doing it because it’s my choice to do it. And at first I was kinda excited about getting out and making friends with non-christians, but then I realised something… actually I’m just excited about making friends with different people.
At my postgraduate course, I have 3 friends that I’ve just sorta warmed to this last year and a bit. They’re amazing. One practices something along the lines of “The Secret” (check out thesecret.tv), another loves astrology and believes in auras and in the gifts of psychics, and the other practices something similar to a form of buddhism. We all sat round a table at a Japanese restaurant last week sharing our entire life stories – they were all pretty heartbreaking but we all had these awful experiences. And that was the point that I realised that these girls were more than my non-christian friends… they were my friends. And a couple of nights later, we sat round a table at a Korean restaurant and talked our spiritual beliefs. Everyone had a place there. These are girls who have been really burnt by christians who dismiss them as stupid and not knowing anything about spirituality, and they let me sit at their table. It was a beautiful scene. 4 women with different journeys in different spiritualities and yet we experienced the same growing pains.
So that’s where I’m at on the spiritual journey. And I’m enjoying it. In fact, I love this. I love being able to express myself in a whole new way. I’m open to talking about my spirituality and in turn, these women give me air time. We all give each other air time. It’s a reciprocal relationship and it’s quite lovely.
Love & Peace,