I’ve been trying to write this post for ages. Not sure why it’s taken so much effort (and starts and stops) but it has.
One of the questions I’ve been asking myself lots lately is, “what connects me to people?” We got a visit from an old friend and mentor a few weeks ago and one of the things he said to us was that in this first year of marriage, it’s important that we keep connected. I’m not sure what that meant. Because I felt like I’d spent the previous half hour talking about all the people we were connecting with. But as a Christian leader, I wonder if I can assume he meant being connected to a Christian community.
That question dwelled with me a few days and I was uncomfortable. Usually I would be uncomfortable with guilt at the fact that I wasn’t connecting to a Christian group, but that certainly wasn’t it. It was an uncomfortable frustration that the presumption might have been that the only valuable connection we can possibly have is with other Christians. That might not have been what he meant at all and I don’t think I’ll be able to tell you unless I ask. But what I can tell you is that our connections with people, both Christian and non-Christian remain intact… well some anyway…
It’s that very thing that has me thinking and contemplating…
I’ve been hanging out with a few old church buddies. Our connection is (or was) the church that we were a part of. We have a few other loves in common but often when we’re together, conversation migrates to church/shop talk and I’m simply not part of that world anymore. So take away that connection and what other connection do I have to those people? I’m not sure. Yesterday, I was watching an episode of “Come Dine With Me”. It’s a funny programme where they put 5 strangers together and make them cook for each other. Each person has a turn at being host and they’re judged by the other dinner guests. At the end of the show, one of the guys was talking about how he’d keep contact with one of the other ladies because he thought she was great.
Perhaps connections are seasonal.
Maybe you hang out with people for a time and purpose and then perhaps it’s over. While you continue to respect that person, there’s no real reason to remain connected. It might perhaps be a stage in life where you journey together until the paths start to shift. I think I’m trying to get my head around this. Partly because I feel grieved that the friends that were once so instrumental in my life – the ones I saw so often – I don’t see so often anymore. We’re less involved in each others lives. But I guess that’s ok right?
Happy Saturday 🙂